Herr Hans Olafson

Hans Olafson is the son of a working class couple from East Germany. His father, Hans Olafson Sr was a handyman by trade and his mother was a hand maiden for the Von Fussen family. From a young age, Hans was obsessed with his hands and found that he could accomplish most feats in his life by using them. He trained as a strongman with a local travelling circus before entering into a career in the German military after accidentally squashing a midget with his hands. Hans' military career was short lived as after being shifted into their occult division, he struck a superior officer who called his hands half as stupid as he was. Hans was to be court-martialled, but escaped his jail cell by bending the bars with his hands, knocking out several guards with his hands and stealing a motorcycle with his hands. Hans managed to evade recapture and travelled through France and then on to Britain complaining that all Frenchmen had sissy woman hands. He was once found to be handing out hand grenades to children to go throw across the channel at France. He was arrested, handcuffed and taken to a local police station where he argued for five hours about having his fingerprints taken. Eventually the police gave in and took his hand prints instead. Hans was sentenced to prison for two months and spent his time there productively specialising in all manner of handicraft. On his release he became a boxer, but found making boxes to be boring so he trained to be a boxer. He grew friendly with a charming British chap he met at his local who sank gin & tonics while listening to his stories of life which mainly comprised of how he used his hands to solve trivial problems. Upon finding out that Hans had previously worked with the German occult division following a truly inspired tale of how he was once instructed to pull a lever which he successfully accomplished thanks to his hands, Hans was whisked away to Department T of British Military Intelligence. After finding little of value in Hans' mind relating to what the occult division were up to, they decided to keep him around to perform trivial tasks and the occasional suicidal mission. Hans has since become an avid golfer; he has a handicap of 6.